The Only Hope For Me Is
by MCRmygirl
Summary: When 15-year-old Frank Iero is trying to escape his abusive, alcoholic mother, is Gee his only hope for a somewhat normal life? Rated M for harsh language and violence. Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Frerard, Ferard, whatever you know it as. :
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome new reader! This is my first story posted on this site, so my formatting may suck a little. I was originally on a different fanfic site, but due to hackers, I left and decided to post my stories here. This is a Frerard My Chem story, and I am extremely proud of it. It is finished, but it will take me a few days to re-post it all. Please tell me what you think! **

**And, as a warning, if I use lingo that is unusual for this site, I can only apologize. :) I have my old site on the brain. ;)**

**Disclaimer- I do not own My Chemical Romance or any of their songs. :) Only in my wildest dreams!**

**Reviews are Love!**

**~FallenAvengingAngel  
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Frank's POV-

"YOU WORTHLESS FAGGOT!" my mother roared as she slapped me across the face, knocking me to the floor. She chucked the half-empty bottle of booze at me. It collided with my back and shattered, causing the slashes from the glass to sear with the burn of alcohol. I cried out in pain and used my doorknob to pull myself to my feet. My mother's screams continued even after I had made my way into my room and shut and locked my bedroom door.

"YOU ARE A CURSE ON HUMANITY! UNNATURAL, DO YOU HEAR ME? NO SON OF MINE WILL BE A FAG, OR SO HELP ME, THEY WILL DIE!"

I sighed, my breath catching in my throat as I winced in pain. Just a normal day in the life of me, Frank Iero. My mom obviously didn't appreciate my homosexuality, and she made sure that I knew that, too.

I wanted to go clean the alcohol out of the cuts on my back, but reaching the bathroom would mean going back within _her _line of fire. So I did the most reasonable thing at the time- packed my favorite bag with a change of clothes and my school stuff, grabbed Pansy, my guitar, and climbed out of the window into the rain.

I moaned in relief. The cooling rain felt like the merciful tears of God as it rinsed away the blood, alcohol, and tears. I stood still, letting the rain soak me to my core, until the rain had washed away most of the pain. I then pulled off my favorite black hoodie over my ruined t-shirt and started my lonely trek to nowhere.

Gerard's POV-

"Mikey, I'll be back in awhile. Let mom know where I am if she asks!" I called to my brother as I pulled on my hoodie.

"You're gonna walk in the rain? What about helping me unpack?" my brother shouted back, a hint of pleading in his voice.

"I'll help you when I get back! I want to check out that comic store before it closes. And besides, I'm waterproof!" With that, I jogged out the door.

It was dark out, due to the storm clouds obscuring what little light would have been left this time of day. The street lamp had burned out, and I could barely see where I was going. Before I knew it, I had collided, face-first, with a kid holding a guitar case.

"Oh, dude, I'm sorry!" I apologized as I helped the boy to his feet. He was shaking from the cold, and he was soaking wet. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," he stammered, taking a step back. His hair was plastered to his face, making his pale skin stand out against the dark night.

"Where're you going?" I inquired, looking him up and down. He looked as if I'd scared the crap out of him.

"I-I-I.." he muttered, his eyes wide with fear. He sighed in defeat. "I don't know. I had to get away. My mom-" he cut off and broke down into sobs.

"Come on, let's get you inside, out of the rain. Then you can explain," I told him, wrapping my arm gently around his shoulders and leading him into the house.

Frank's POV-

He was beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous. His jet-black hair framed his hazel eyes as he looked down at me worriedly. He practically carried me up to the bathroom in his spacious, warm home, and I couldn't help but continue to stutter my thanks. When we reached the tope floor, he took Pansy and my bag and helped me out of my clothes and into the hot water. He gasped audibly when he caught sight of the wounds and old scars that littered my back.

"Oh my god! What happened to you?" he asked as he gently sponged my back with the water. It stung, but it was a clean pain, not like the pain of the alcohol or the cuts themselves. As he washed away the last of the blood, I told him about the awful things that she did to me, how this was nothing, and that it was usually worse. I told him about how she used to beat me black and blue, or lock me in my room without food. I had never told anyone before, and I knew that telling him was probably a mistake, but I felt safe talking to him.

When I was finished with my tale, the boy handed me a towel and a pair of boxers and shorts, turning around politely so that I could change. He then sat me down on the toilet as he treated my lacerations with antiseptic ointment. The whole time, I was extremely aware of how close to me he sat and how soft his hands were.

_Stop it! _I chastised myself. _You're just getting your hopes up. He's not gay. You'll just end up freaking him out!_

The boy's hands faltered on my back.

"What?" I asked gently, silently wishing that he would continue.

"Why… why would she do this to you?" he whispered, his hands lightly tracing my scars.

"Um, she… I… she hates… I'm gay," I blurted out, flinching away from him. I stood up to leave, but strong, smooth, gentle hands gripped my wrists, turning me around to face him. I looked down at my feet.

"Look. At. Me," the boy's velvety voice commanded. I obeyed, and got my first really good look at him.

His hair was still wet from the rain, and it hung almost to his shoulders. His lips were pale and smooth and, to my surprise, he was smiling. His beautiful eyes twinkled playfully as he told me, "Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of."

I looked down again, and he lifted my chin so that his eyes met mine.

"You're not the only one," he whispered.

Gerard's POV-

The boy's eyes widened in disbelief as he looked for any sign that I could be lying.

"Now sit down," I told him firmly, "and let me finish bandaging these battle-scars." He did as he was told, and I sat behind him on the toilet once again, placing gauze and medical tape on his cuts, which had finally stopped bleeding. I leaned back and took a look at my handiwork. Satisfied, I patted the boy's hip and stood up. He turned to me and smiled apologetically.

"Thank you so much… um…"

"Gerard Way," I told him, washing the antiseptic off of my hands. "And you are?"

"Frank. Frank Iero. By the way, do you have another towel? I need to dry Pansy off."

"Pansy?"

Frank blushed. "My guitar."

I smiled, making Frank blush harder.

"Yeah, here." I tossed him the towel, along with a clean black Misfits t-shirt. He took them appreciatively, and immediately buried his face in the soft fabric of the shirt.

"It smells so good," he mumbled as he yanked the shirt on over his head.

I laughed. "It just came out of the dryer," I explained as he once again blushed scarlet.

"Oh," he said, looking down at the shirt. It was much too long for him, but there was only so much I could do.

"Pansy's in my bedroom. Come on, I'll show you."

Frank's POV-

I followed Gerard out of the bathroom and down a long hallway that was lit with a warm glow. I relished in the feeling of the soft carpet under my feet as I walked along.

We stopped at the door to the basement. It was covered with paintings and posters of bands. _Anthrax, Nickelback, The Misfits…_

Gerard silently opened the door and I gasped as I took in the view.

The basement had been transformed into an amazing bedroom. A king-sized bed was in the corner, covered with a down comforter and loaded with pillows. A desk strewn with art supplies and comics occupied another corner, while a long couch and a television sat along the far wall. Pansy was resting gently on a beanbag chair that was big enough for two people.

I carefully picked up Pansy's case and wiped it down, taking care to make sure that it was totally dry before opening it. Finally I pulled Pansy out, checking her out and plucking her strings to check that she was unharmed. Gerard, who I had almost forgotten about for the moment, whistled from across the room. I looked up, my heart skipping a beat when I saw him sprawled across the couch, his chin in his hands.

"You love her like life itself," he stated, nodding in Pansy's direction.

"She was my dad's…" I explained, stroking her neck. "She's all I've got of him. My mom burned all his pictures when she was in one of her moods." I steeled myself, and asked the question that had been nagging me. "Hey, Gerard? Can I stay here tonight? I don't want to go back there when she's like this, and I-"

"Whoa, Frankie!" Gerard cut me off, rising to his feet and closing the distance between us. My breath caught in my throat when he rested his hand on my thigh and said, "I wouldn't have let you go back there if you tried! At least not tonight. Of course you can stay here! Now, when was the last time you had a decent meal?"

"Um…" I mumbled, trying to remember when I'd eaten last.

"Come on," he demanded, pulling me to my feet.

After I had eaten the most wonderful meal that I had ever had the pleasure of eating, and Gerard had introduced me to his mother and totally hot brother, Mikey, we headed up to bed. I was thoroughly exhausted and full for the first time in Lord knows when. Gerard and I stripped down to our boxers, and I climbed into bed. I felt as though I was floating on clouds. I guess it was that floatiness that caused me to blurt out, as Gerard was lying down on the sofa, "Gerard, will you come sleep up here with me?" I flinched, mentally slapping myself. However, to my surprise, Gerard climbed into bed next to me.

"Goodnight, Gerard," I whispered, curling up into a ball. I felt a gentle hand stroke my face.

"Frankie?"

"Yes?"

"Call me Gee."

I giggled and snuggled in close to him. I lay my head on his bare chest and breathed in his wonderful scent.

"Goodnight, Frankie," his seductive voice cooed as he lightly massaged my scarred wrist, lulling me into a peaceful slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

**Do not get discouraged! This story SHALL go somewhere plot-wised, after the boys get their little weekend of joy!**

Chapter Two-

Gerard's POV-

I woke up to the sound of Frank's steady, peaceful breathing. He was laying beside me, snuggled against me chest. A small smile played upon his pink lips as he mumbled incoherently in his sleep. I gently brushed a small lock of hair out of his angelic face and pulled him gently into a hug. His eyes flickered open and Frankie yawned, giving me a sleepy smile.

"Good morning, Frankie," I whispered, lightly running my hand down his bandaged back.

"Good morning, Gee," he mumbled back, flashing me a dazzling smile and slipping his hand into mine. My heart soared.

We lay there comfortably in that position, fingers and eyes locked, for a few moments before someone knocked on the door, interrupting our peaceful refuge.

"Gee, are you getting up? You gotta help me finish unpacking! We can't go to school without our stuff!" Mikey's voice called through the door.

"I'll be out in a minute!" I called back, still smiling at Frankie. He laughed and took his hand out of mine. "I guess that's our cue," I whispered, still stroking his bruised back. Frank smiled wider, his white teeth shining brightly.

"I guess," he whispered, kissing my bare chest and blushing. I disentangled myself from him reluctantly. We stood and dressed and, after rummaging through his bag for his gloves, Frank followed me to Mikey's room.

* * *

><p>Frank's POV-<p>

It hadn't been a dream. It was all real. And Gerard was even sexier with his shirt _off _if possible. I followed him to Mikey's room while tugging on my fingerless skeleton gloves. Stepping inside, I couldn't help but gape. If I thought my house was a mess, I had nothing on Mikey's room.

Mikey's room was strewn with boxes of random junk, from posters and CDs to underwear. Mikey was shirtless, hanging up a beautiful bass guitar. Gerard cleared his throat and his brother spun around, a pleased look on his face. I blushed. Mikey was almost as hot as Gee.  
>"So you're finally going to help me, huh?" Mikey asked Gee, his glasses slipping down his nose. "Oh, hi, Frank. I forgot you were here! You don't have to help if you don't want to," Mikey said, his hands on his hips.<br>"It's the least I could do," I answered, trying to avert my eyes from his bare chest and arms. I finally settled my eyes on the guitar that was hanging on the wall.  
>"Is that a <em>Gibson<em>?" I asked incredulously, stroking the body of the instrument.  
>"Yup!" Mikey exclaimed, taking it down from the wall and striking chord. "I worked all summer for her!" His hair fell in his eyes as he strummed away.<br>Gerard interrupted Mikey's jam session by looking down into a box full of comics and asking, "Where do we start?"

* * *

><p>Gerard's POV-<br>After spending all day cleaning Mikey's room, I was in serious need of a shower and a massage. Frank and I had shed our shirts a few hours before due to the heat, and the two of us were sprawled on the couch next to Mikey, sipping soda and cooling off. I took a large swig out of my Diet Coke and sighed. Frank stiffened as I slipped my arm around his shoulders and turned to face my brother.  
>"Next time, I am SO not touching your underwear!" I told Mikey, who burst into a fit of heat-induced giggles. Frank started to laugh too, and he laid his head gently against my shoulder, out of Mikey's line of sight. I grinned but didn't move, so as not to alert Mikey that anything was amiss. I SO did not need my brother figuring out that there was something between me and Frank. I gave him a tight squeeze with my arm and rose to my feet, stretching out.<br>"Where are you going?" Frankie asked, a small pleading tone to his voice.  
>"I need more soda. You guys want some?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. Frank grinned.<br>"Sure!" Mikey exclaimed. "Coke, please!"

I winked in Frankie's direction, grabbed the empty cans, and made my way out the door.

* * *

><p>Mikey's POV-<br>I waited until the door had swung shut behind Gerard before glancing at Frank. He had his legs crossed beneath him and his arms folded tight against his chest, and his eyes kept flitting back to me. I yawned and stretched my arm across the back of the couch, my hand lightly brushing Frank's shoulder. I was rewarded by sensing him tense up.  
>Finally, I got up the nerve to speak. "Hey, Frankie?" He turned to face me. "I don't mean to be rude, but when Gerard told us about your mom, he didn't say why she hit you. Is it because you're gay, or is there more than one reason?"<br>Frank turned a violent shade of pink and stuttered, trying to speak. "How- how did you- is it that _obvious?_"  
>I laughed. "No, dude, I can just tell! My brother's gay, remember? I learn to sense these things. Also, you kept staring at my chest. I mean, heck, even my girlfriend doesn't do that, man!"<br>Frank laughed, the tension in the room finally broken. He uncrossed his arms and leaned back, seeming more at-ease now that his secret was out.  
>"Yeah, sorry Mikey!" he laughed, looking me in the eye. "It's just- I don't know. You and Gee are so different, and yet so alike. I just couldn't help myself. I mean, you're hot!" he exclaimed, and then blushed yet again.<br>I grinned. "I know, right? But you seem more interested in Gee than in me. Am I right?"  
>Frank shrugged and nodded, giggling like a lovestruck little girl.<p>

"Okay, I admit it. I, Frank Iero, am madly in love with a _boy,_ your brother, Gerard Way!"  
>As he finished his sentence, Gerard burst into the room, carrying three sodas and a few movies. He froze when he heard Frank's words, and Frank looked as if he was going to be ill, his eyes wide. I was pretty sure he had stopped breathing.<br>They stayed frozen for a long moment before something snapped. Gee rushed forward, thrust the sodas and stuff at me, threw his arms around Frank, and kissed him with all his might. Frank responded with the same enthusiasm. When Frankie looked as though he was going to yank the rest of my brother's clothes off, I spoke up.  
>"Whoa, guys, I'm really happy for you and all, but I really don't want to watch my brother get laid. Especially on <em>my<em> couch. I'd probably have to burn it."  
>Gerard quickly leapt back, a pleased smile on his face. He and Frank stayed where they were, panting for a moment before they both started to laugh nervously.<br>"Sorry, Mikes," Gee said, slowly sitting down between Frank and I. "Couldn't help myself." Frank giggled and snuggled up against Gee, who put his arm around him. "Now how about those sodas and a movie?"  
>"Which one?" I asked, glancing at the pile of DVDs in my lap.<br>"How 'bout Night of the Living Dead?" Frank suggested. Gerard and I glanced at each other in mutual agreement, and I stuck it in the DVD player. I leaned back against the arm of the couch and took one last look at the happy couple before settling in to watch the show.


	3. Chapter 3

**And here it begins... ;) *mischievous grin* **

**Reviews are love, my dear readers!**

**~FallenAvengingAngel**

Frank's POV-  
><em>BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!<em>the alarm clock urged Monday morning. I felt Gerard shift in the bed and the beeping ceased. I grinned when I felt Gee's light breath in my hair.

"Why, good _morning_, little Frankie! Did you sleep well?" he asked not-so-innocently, his sexy voice giving me butterflies.

"Mmhm..." I mumbled, laying my head on his chest.

"Good! Now we have to get up so we can go to school and Mikes and I can see this place of wonder that you call Belleville High."

I giggled, but cut off suddenly when I realized that going to school meant that I would have to deal with the Jocks that were sure to beat on me even more when they realized how much I cared about Gee. And if they found out he was gay, too... I couldn't even comprehend. I couldn't let them hurt him. And to top it all off, I was going to have to go home. Gerard's clothes didn't quite fit, and my mom was sure to call the police if I didn't show up soon. She would never let me go. She'd lose her favorite punching bag then.

"What's wrong, Frankie?" Gee asked, looking me in the eye. I voiced my fears and he smiled, knocking me breathless. "I won't let them touch you," he grinned, and kissed me.

(TIME LAPSE)

* * *

><p>Gerard's POV-<br>I followed Frankie up the grounds of a large school campus. He walked with his head down, trying to remain inconspicuous. I gratefully followed suit, treading behind him, looking for any threats to him, and watching his beautiful body walking in front of me, all at once. Suddenly, I heard a sweet voice call out, "Frankie!"

Frank and I both turned, only to see a girl in a long dress practically run him over with a hug. He winced as her arms squeezed his bandages, but he was smiling broadly. The girl planted a kiss on his cheek, one on his lips, and one on his forehead. She then grasped him by the shoulders and looked him in the eye with a slightly agitated, concerned look.

"Where have you been all weekend? I called you so many times, and when you didn't pick up, I got worried. Why didn't you pick up?"

"I had another run-in with 'bad parenting skills' this weekend," he answered. The girl leaned over and hugged him again, this time more gently. I saw that she was discreetly feeling the bandages on his back through his thin shirt. Her subtlety amazed me.

"I must have left my phone in my room," Frank continued to explain. "I was walking through the rain with Pansy when I ran into my newest friend. Gerard, this is Autumn. Autumn, this is Gerard."

When the girl- Autumn- turned to face me, she smiled and stuck out her hand. I shook it, and got my first good look at her.

She was very tall, dwarfing Frank, with shoulder-length brown hair that hung beautifully and shone in the morning sun. She was wearing a long white sundress with a purple zip-up hoodie and white flip-flops. She was very beautiful, and I was sure that if I was straight, I would've been drooling.

"So you're the new kid everyone's been talking about!" Autumn exclaimed, sizing me up. "And I guess that's your brother over there flirting with Alicia?" she asked, pointing behind me. I glanced back, and sure enough, there was Mikey, laughing along with some girl.

"Yep!" I confirmed, smiling. This girl didn't miss a thing.

At that moment, a member of the football team stormed past us, shoving Frankie out of his way. He hit a tree with his back, crying out in pain as his scabs split. Autumn and I rushed to his side, me catching him in my arms.

"Are you okay, Frankie?" I asked urgently, brushing a lock of hair out of his eyes and clutching his hand.

"Yeah," he mumbled, wincing as he stood.

All the while during our little exchange, Autumn had been watching Frank and me closely. Suddenly she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.

"Are you two... Oh my gosh! I'm so happy for you! I always told Frank that he would find someone, but he never listened to me!" She turned to me. "You are such a lucky man!" she exclaimed. "I had always HOPED that he was at least bi, but he was never interested in girls. I mean, I'm okay with that, but I had still wished... But now he's got you! OhmygoshdidyoutellRayandBob?" she all but shouted, her last sentence coming out as one word.

Before Frankie could answer, or I had the chance to ask who Ray and Bob were, the bell rang up at the school.

"Well, I gotta go. Nice meeting you, Gerard. And YOU," she added, turning to Frank with faux anger. "At lunch, you're telling the guys! See you then!" With that, Autumn flounced away.

I sighed exhaustedly. Her constant energy was draining. "Well, she's unique!" I laughed.

"She's awesome," Frank grinned, watching her purple sweatshirt disappear through the crowd. I silently agreed. Autumn WAS awesome.

* * *

><p>Frank's POV-<br>The first half of the day passed rather uneventfully after the collision with the tree. Gerard and I had the same schedules until after lunch, so we stuck together, hiding in the corners of the classrooms. We had a bit of harassment from a cheerleader with fake boobs, but other than that, no one paid much attention to the 'Emo fag' and his new friend.

As I walked into the cafeteria with Gee trailing close behind, clutching his tray like a lifeline, I was relieved to see that Mikey was having no trouble adjusting to the new school. He was sitting with the rest of my gang, having obviously been introduced by Autumn. On his right sat a girl that I recognized as Alicia Simmons. She had never gone out of her way to be nice to me, but she had never been cruel, either. Her and I had spoken politely, nodded our acknowledgements in the hallways, but never really _talked_. It was going to be interesting getting to know her.

The younger Way brother was deep into a conversation with Bob Bryar, his glasses slipping down his nose in excitement as he gaped at Bob in utter disbelief. I never found out what was so astounding, because as Gerard and I passed the cheerleader's table, we heard a sing-song voice call out, "Wait! Stop!"

I kept my head down and kept walking, saying, "Fuck off," in the voice's direction. I immediately regretted it when I looked up and saw that the girl was not a cheerleader, but an unfortunate relative of one. She looked hurt.

"I-I'm sorry, I thought you were-" I stammered, turning red. Gerard saw me floundering and saved me.

"Hi. Now who wants to kill and/or threaten me already?" he asked, his voice light.

Now it was the girl's turn to blush. She raised her hands in defense.

"No, no, that's not it, I swear! My sister- she said- well," the girl gulped, looking tiny and scared next to Gerard. "She said she doesn't care that you hung out with a f-fag on the first day," she stuttered, looking at me apologetically as if she did not approve of her sister's views on gays, "and if you'll ditch him, she'll go out with you." the girl swallowed again, looking like she wanted to cry.

Gerard grinned. He put his arm around her shoulders, leaned down, and whispered, "Well you can tell your sister that I will date her the day she stops being a bitchy control-freak. No, wait, even then I wouldn't. And tell her," he smirked, "to stop treating her sister like a slave before I beat her ass. Okay?" He smiled at her and she smiled back. He brushed a kiss across her cheek and whispered, "Go on." She rushed off.

"I'm jealous," I told Gee as we continued toward our table where our concerned posse was waiting.

"Of what?"

"Of the girl. You could kiss _her_in public." I smiled sheepishly.

"Yeeeeeesss..." Gerard agreed as we took our places at the table, too wrapped up in our own conversation to notice that all eyes at the table were on us.

"But with her," he continued, "as with any girl, I feel nothing. Unlike when I do this." He slipped his hand into mine under the table. I blushed scarlet, turning my face from Gee, only to notice that the table was still silent. I froze.

It was Ray who spoke first. "Autumn said you had good news. I guess we just figured it out! Good for you, man!" Ray winked at me and leaned over to shake Gee's hand, which he reluctantly removed from my grip. "I'm Ray. Ray Toro."

"Gerard Way."

"Well Gerard, this is Bob Bryar, Alicia Simmons, and you already know Autumn Pitney," he waved his hand in he general direction of each person as he named them. "Welcome to the Black Parade."

"You changed the name!" Bob exclaimed, smiling.

"Mikey's idea." Mikey grinned.

"I like it! Now what's on your mind, Ray?" I asked, addressing the way that he was fiddling with his fork and running his fingers absentmindedly through his fro.

Ray laughed. "I guess I can't hide it forever, huh? Do you guys believe in love at first sight?"

"Yes," Gee and I agreed simultaneously, Gee placing his hand on my thigh. I knew it was going to be nigh on impossible to listen to Ray with Gerard's hand rubbing circles on my leg. However, before I tuned out to the feel of Gerard's fingers, I managed to catch, "Her name is Christa..."


	4. Chapter 4

**We learn a bit of Frankie's past, and Frankie learns what Gee tastes like... ;)**

**For anyone who has never been to King's Island, Son of Beast is a freaking terrifying roller-coaster. Which I am too much of a wuss to go on. Ever.**

**Reviews are love!**

**~FallenAvengingAngel**

Gerard's POV-  
>I only had one class with Frank after lunch, but I had at least one of the guys in every class except for PE, which was my last class of the day. I didn't have a gym uniform yet, so I stuck out like a big black thumb. While the jocks picked the teams for volleyball, I stood at the back of the crowd chewing my nails. I was picked last, of course, but the PE instructor took pity on me and put me in server's position. The team captain, a linebacker by the looks of him, shot me a glare and took his place to my right.<p>

I lobbed the ball into the air and spiked it, sending it over the net- and straight to the floor. Everyone looked at me incredulously as the coach gave our team a point and tossed me the ball again. I proceeded to make three more points with no effort as my team stared in astonishment and the other team scrambled to return the ball. We won the game twelve-to-nothing, and I never left the server's position.

When the bell rang, I was burning up in my black skinny jeans but I was smiling up a storm. As I walked out the door to head to my locker, I distinctly heard one girl, I think her name was Katie, call out, "I call Way for my team tomorrow!" My day was definitely ending on a high note.

* * *

><p>Frank's POV-<br>I met Gee on the front steps of the school building, and we decided to wait for Mikey. Gerard flirted when he was sure no one else could hear, and my stomach felt like I was on the Son of Beast. While Gerard was making one particularly suggestive comment that had me blushing and giggling like a little girl, Mikey finally exited the building and started towards us. His glasses were askew, his hair was messy, and his tie was undone and hanging around his shoulders. He was breathing heavy and looked as if he'd just run a mile.

"What took you so long?" Gerard asked, taking in his brother's haphazard look.

"I kind of... ran into Alicia and... um..." Mikey mumbled, eyes wide with fear.

"Oh my GOD, please tell me you're still a virgin!" Gerard exclaimed, gripping Mikey by the shoulders and giving him one hard shake.

"Yes!" Mikey gasped, embarrassed. "We didn't- I can't believe you thought- we're at SCHOOL!" Mikey stuttered, turning away and rushing down the steps to where Ray was standing, holding the bookbag that Mikey had left in study hall.

Gee laughed, putting his arm around my shoulders and leading me down the steps. "Time to go home," he muttered.

I froze. I had almost forgotten. I was going to have to face my mother. And Gerard was going to be there.

"Frankie, are you okay?" he whispered, getting me to start walking again. We headed down the road, following Mikey and Ray who were far ahead. When I didn't answer, he stopped and turned to face me. I looked down at the ground.

"Frankie, look at me you sweet boy," Gee whispered, his hand coming up under my chin to raise my eyes up to his. When I looked up, his face was inches from mine. Mikey and Ray had gone up ahead; we were completely alone.

"Frank Anthony Thomas Iero, I want you to listen to me. There is no way that you having a scary mother is going to make me stop loving you. She doesn't scare me, and she's not going to hurt you anymore." We were so close; I could feel his breath on my lips.

I turned my head away, breaking eye contact with him. "That's not it. You leaving me isn't the only thing I'm worried about. I'm scared that what happened last time might happen again."

"What happened?" Gerard asked me, anxiety lacing his voice.

I sighed, bowing my head and turning away from him. "It was a few years back. I was seventeen. My mother had just found out about me being gay when she came home to find me and my boyfriend laying on the couch, my head on his chest, just talking. My father had always tried to protect me from the worst of her rants, but that night, he couldn't.

"My mother grabbed her rifle and sh-shot my boyfriend. Then she- she rounded on me. My dad threw himself in front of the bullet. Both of them died.

"Every day since she has blamed me for my father's death. She said that if I hadn't brought HIM home, she would never have shot my father. It was my fault, she says. I don't want to lose you too. If anything ever happened to you... I don't think I could keep living.

"That night, I almost killed myself. My mom had passed out from the alcohol, and Autumn found me in the tub, bleeding from the wrists. She took me to the hospital and refused to leave my side for a month.

"The police came to the house and my mom said that my father had shot my boyfriend for trespassing, and then tried to kill her. She supposedly grabbed the rifle from his hands and killed him in self-defense. She told them I had tried to commit suicide because I had seen two people I loved killed, and was in no state to testify. In a way, I wasn't. The police bought it, and she went back to her old ways of beating me. And my dad was no longer there to protect me." I turned back to Gerard.

"I never again let myself fall in love. Until now," I told him, gazing into his hazel eyes. Gerard stepped closer to me, our eyes still locked. He looked as though he was going to speak, but instead pulled me into him, crushing his lips against mine with great force. I responded desperately, needing him more than air.

He pulled me to the grass, landing on his back with me on top of him. He rolled over so he was straddling me, our lips still locked. He broke away briefly, both of us gasping for air, and forced out, "She will never hurt you again." He then kissed me once again, passionately, our bodies pressed together. I lost myself to his touch and the feel of his lips on mine.

Our kiss deepened, and I gasped as his tongue slid into my mouth. He tasted of coffee and cheap sweetener and... Gerard. His tongue explored my mouth and I moaned, tangling my hands in his hair. He lay atop me, our bodies perfectly aligned, his hands running up and down my chest. I pulled him towards me, forcing his tongue further into my mouth, before he reached down and unbuttoned my shirt. We broke away, and he laid on top of me, stroking the tattoos on my midriff. I shuddered with pleasure.

His beautiful eyes rose to meet mine as he continued to finger my waist. My stomach twisted as one finger brushed below the waistline of my jeans. He ran his hands along my torso, and another moan escaped my lips. He smiled.

"Man you're beautiful," he told me, stopping his seductive strokes. "Perfect." I smiled back, unable to speak. _He_was the beautiful one, not me. I was short and inked and scarred, while he was flawless. But my tongue was too uncooperative for me to tell him that.

"I won't ever let her touch you again. You're coming to live with me. Now let's go get your things."


	5. Chapter 5

**Time for the plot to kick in! This chapter was hard to write. It hurt. And things will only get worse before they get better, I promise you.**

**Reviews are love!**

**~FallenAvengingAngel**

Gerard's POV-  
>I followed Frank through the streets to his home. When we arrived and he pushed the door open, I was struck with the overwhelming scent of pot and cheap booze. The house was small, and filled with broken bottles and discarded pizza boxes.<p>

"You live here?" I asked, completely surprised. Frank was a neat freak; living like this must have driven him crazy. He simply nodded and rushed through the room, taking my hand and tugging me up the stairs.

"We've got about twenty minutes before she comes home," Frank told me as he moved towards his bedroom. He undid a combination lock that his mom must have placed on his door and turned the knob. I followed him into the room and froze in shock.

His room was the polar opposite of the rest of the house. When he closed the door behind me, the smell from downstairs was washed away by the scent of shampoo, Pinesol, and Frankie's cologne. Band posters hung on the walls- Anthrax, Smashing Pumpkins, and many others. A stack of notebooks rested on a shelf hanging beside his window. One of them showed Frankie standing with a man that looked alot like him; both of them were laughing into the camera. Below the two men, in tidy scrawl, was written, "I love you Frankie."

The second picture was one that had been taken around the same time as the first. It was a picture of a fifteen-year-old boy with dark brown eyes and straight brown hair falling in his eyes. He was smiling brightly, his sharp white teeth glinting from the flash. He was pretty dang cute. There was writing on this one too, though it was slightly obscured by the black martial arts belt that was knotted around the boy's waist. It simply said, "I'll never stop loving you, Frank. Love, Nate."

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Frankie came back out of the closet. I hadn't even seen him go in. He tossed me a suitcase and nodded towards his closet.

"Will you start putting clothes into this one? I'll get the other stuff," he instructed me, wrapping the pictures in a pair of socks. I nodded and disappeared into the closet, leaving him to pack the rest of the room.

I grabbed T-shirts and jeans and folded them, practically throwing them into the suitcase. I realized we were low on time, and my heart was racing. It was horrible, but not as bad as what was about to happen.

"Frank Iero, what do you think you're doing?"

My heart stopped.

"I'm leaving, Mom. I'm going to live with- with a friend. I'm not letting you hurt me anymore. And I'm definitely not letting you hurt him."

I was frozen with fear. I was scared, not for me, but for Frankie. All I could do was stand in the closet, useless, and listen to their exchange.

"YOU SPAWN OF THE DEVIL!" Frank's mother roared. "YOU LEARNED WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SCREW BOYS, YOU FAGGOT! WHERE IS HE?" I heard glass shatter, and Frank cried out in pain. Something in me snapped right then. She was hurting Frankie. MY Frankie.

I leapt out of the closet and saw Frankie slumped, unconscious, on the bed. My vision clouded red. The woman lunged at me and I took my opportunity, hitting her over the head with Frank's lamp. She crumpled to the floor, and I rushed over to Frankie, shaking him awake.

"Are you alright?" I demanded.

He mumbled incoherently, eyelids fluttering. His head fell back to the pillow as he lost consciousness once again. I leaned over and felt his mother's pulse.

_Oh god,_I thought. She was dead.

I picked up Frank's cell phone from the floor and sent a text to Autumn.

"There's been an accident. Frank'll be at the hospital soon. Make sure you're there for him. G."

Then I took a deep breath and dialed 911.

"Hello, my name is Gerard Way, and I'd like to report a murder at 1432 Park Street. One boy was injured, and I'm pretty sure he has a concussion. And the woman was killed by being bludgeoned over the head with a blunt object."

"Did you see the woman's killer?"

I swallowed. "Yep. Me."

I hung up and sat on the bed, pulling Frankie into my lap and cradling him, kissing his head.

"I broke my promise," I whispered. "I let her hurt you."

I sat there, holding Frank close, waiting for my prosecutors to come and seize me.

**Well, there it is. Gee's a murderer. Accidentally, but still. :) What ever will happen next?**

**Oh, in case he's reading this, not that he would, Nathan is not gay. He never was, unless he is a very good liar. He's just an old... friend of mine, I guess. I considered him a friend. I don't know what he thought about me, however. Still haven't figured out if he hates me or not. :/ I just used him in the story because it seemed to fit. I'm sorry, Nathan, if I've upset you.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, once again, I have been told by some people who have already read this that I am in severe danger of being killed. In a joking manner, but still. So let me say now, things WILL get better, but they have to get worse first. Yes, things CAN get worse. I'm sorry. MCRmygirl out.**

**Reviews are love!**

**~FallenAvengingAngel**

Frank's POV-  
>I felt like I was in a dream. I heard Gerard's voice shouting my name and caught a brief glimpse of him struggling to get to me, with a police officer forcing him into handcuffs. It made no sense and made my head hurt, so I happily faded back into the welcoming darkness.<p>

I awoke in a hospital bed with Autumn hovering over me. She looked as though she had been crying, and looked worried. Her look of worry quickly faded to one of relief when she realized I was awake.

"Frankie! Thank god! We have to get to the prison!" she exclaimed, planting a kiss on my lips and clutching me to her.

"What?" I asked, trying to remember what had happened.

"Frank, you're been asleep for two days. That whole time, Gerard's been in prison for murder and we have to demand a trial. You have a concussion, by the way," she explained, pushing a button that would summon a nurse.

"Wait, prison?" I asked, the events of the past two days flooding back to me. _She_ had attacked me and then went after Gee. He had grabbed the lamp... But I felt no remorse. Just fear for Gerard. "Do you know what they _do_to guys like us in prison? He'll end up raped or- we HAVE to get him out! Get me out of here! I need to see him!" I swung my legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the throbbing pain in my bandaged head, only to be blocked by Autumn.

"You are not going anywhere without a wheelchair," she told me, putting her hands on my shoulders and forcing me to remain on the bed. The nurse came in with a wheelchair and helped me into it, despite my protests. Autumn wheeled me into the car, and we were on our way to the prison.

During the ride, Autumn assured me that Gee was only in the prison until the trial, and then we would get everything straightened out. I nodded, barely taking in a word. Gerard was in jail. Because of me.

"It's all your fault!" my mind screamed at me as we sped towards our destination. "This is what happens when you fall in love! People get hurt! You should have left him well enough alone! You should take this to your grave; hide your feelings."

_Take this to my grave..._I knew just what I had to do.

Autumn pulled into the parking lot outside of the prison and lowered me into the wheelchair. I let her push me into the jail, too emotionally exhausted to argue.

"Gerard Way. Where is he?" Autumn demanded from the officer behind the desk. He pointed to the hallway to his left, stunned.

I immediately wheeled myself down the hall to his cell, leaving Autumn to interrogate the guard. Despite my earlier composure, I had to make sure he was okay.

I glanced in each of the cells, but couldn't find any prisoner that looked like Gee. I was about to give up when I heard a faint voice. "Frankie?"

I spun to face the voice. The boy that was kneeling in front of the bars was barely recognizable, but it was Gerard. His hazel eyes had lost their twinkle, as if all the joy had been sucked from him. His hands were dry and cracked and his knuckles white from gripping the bars. His hair was cropped short and he had a pained look in his eyes.

"Gee," I whispered, rising from the wheelchair and crossing the room, my head throbbing. I knelt in front of him, the bars keeping us apart. I reached up and ran my hand through his newly shortened hair. "They cut your hair."

He laughed quietly, taking my hand.

"When do I get to be the only hope for you, Frankie? Because you're the only hope for me," he said, a bit of happiness returning to his sorrowful eyes. I mentally slapped myself. Coming here was going to make it that much harder to leave Gerard, but I knew I had to. It was the only way to protect him. Well I always was a glutton for punishment...

"Frank?" Autumn called sweeping into the hall. "I don't mean to interrupt, but the guard says we have to go. The trial's in fifteen minutes, and they have to get Gee ready for court. It'll be an easy win with no one testifying against him, but we have to get there. Gerard, you'll be free soon, I promise." She wheeled the chair over to where I knelt.

"I love you Frankie," Gee whispered, stroking my face. I found myself almost repeating those words, but stopped myself. I didn't want to hurt him any more than necessary. So I smiled and said, "We'll get you out, Gerard," and Autumn wheeled me out to the car, leaving a hopeful Gerard in our wake.

* * *

><p>Gerard's POV-<br>Everything moved so quickly after Frankie left that my emotionally exhausted body focused on that last sight that I had of him, his hair stylishly messy, his hazel eyes filled with love and pain. Before I knew it, I was seated in the courtroom listening to Frankie tell the judge what he remembered about that night. When Frank was finished, the judge called my name. Getting up the stairs was hard with my cuffs, but I managed it.

"State your name."

"Gerard Arthur Way."

"You are charged with intentional homicide. How do you plead?"

_Intentional?_"Not guilty, your honor."

"Did you kill Mrs. Iero?"

"Not intentionally."

"Why did you strike her?"

I glanced at Frank. "She was hurting Frankie." I quickly realized how that sounded, and continued. "She struck him and went after me. I hit her with the lamp in self-defense. I didn't mean to kill her, your honor."

The judge asked a few more questions before I saw that she was smiling down at me.

"Well it seems this had just been a big misunderstanding. This boy is obviously no psycho, and did what was necessary to save his life, as well as the life of his friend. Not guilty!" she exclaimed, swinging the gavel. "Case dismissed."

* * *

><p>Frank's POV-<br>My heart leapt at those two words. I wanted nothing more than to rush up and wrap my arms around Gee's neck, to hold him and never let him go. However, knowing what I was going to do as soon as the chance arose, I restrained myself.

Mrs. Way embraced her sons as I stood there wondering where I was going to live. I was too young to stay by myself legally, and there was no orphanage in Belleville. As if she had read my mind, Mrs. Way pulled me into the hug and clutched me to her, tears streaming down her face.

"You're going to come live with us, right Frank? You can share a room with one of the boys, okay?"

I found myself nodding, knowing all the while how hard it was going to be living under the same roof as Gerard after what I was going to do to him. However, I could always stay in Mikey's room...

I was ushered out of the courtroom with Gerard on my right and Mikey on my left. I made sure to keep my eyes off of Gee and keep my mind focused on what I was going to have to do. When we finally wove our way through the socializing, gossiping crowd and into the parking lot; me leaning heavily on Mikey to keep from collapsing from the pain in my head; I leaned over and whispered in Gee's ear. "Can I talk to you alone? Follow me." I broke away from Mikey, who nodded in understanding, and headed towards the small wooded area to the left of the courthouse, Gee close on my heels.


	7. Chapter 7

**This was unbelievably hard for me to write. Don't hate me for it. Please. And you know what else? It STILL gets worse.**

**There's a bit of what seems a Frikey moment in here… I'll let you decide. :)**

**Reviews are love!**

**~FallenAvengingAngel**

Frank's POV-  
>I stopped walking when my head forced me to, leaning heavily against a tree that was hidden well enough from the lot. For the first time since we began our trek, I let my eyes wander to Gee. He was smiling at me, and that smile made me want to cry because I knew I was going to be the one to wipe it off of his beautiful face.<p>

_Better to get to the point than to drag it out,_I thought miserably. I steeled my heart and did it.

"Gerard, I don't think we should be together anymore."

His smile disappeared, replaced by a desperate look. Fear and pain washed over his face. His shoulders slumped.

"Is this because of... what I did? I didn't mean to-" he stuttered, his voice small and pained, his eyes filling with tears.

"No, Gerard," I assured him. "That's not it. I don't love you like I did." That was true; I loved him more. Now for the lies. "In fact, I never did. I was using you for a good time, but now I realize that you are going to end up hurt if this continues, which I never anticipated. Thank you for saving me from her, but it's over." My heart shattered.

Gerard's eyes widened in shock. Anger and pain filled his face before all of the emotion left. I had never seen him this completely emotionless and empty, and it scared me.

"I see," he said, his voice monotone. "That changes things."

He turned on his heel and strode back towards the parking lot where Mikey and Mrs. Way were waiting, leaving me no choice but to follow.

That night as I lay in Mikey's bed with him snoring beside me, I finally let myself cry.

* * *

><p>Gerard's POV-<br>I lay in bed for hours, tears of rage pouring down my cheeks. _He used me. He fucking USED me, and I loved him. He never cared._

I roused myself and walked down the deserted hallway to the bathroom where I knew my beloved Xanax was waiting. I dumped four times the recommended amount into my palm and hid the bottle in the back of the medicine cabinet. I did NOT want my mother seeing that I was using my pills again.

_Now for something to wash it down with,_I thought, clenching the pills in my fist. My mind immediately flew to my father's liquor cabinet. It was late; no one would catch me;my father would never notice one missing bottle of vodka when he came home, which he never did. I crept down the stairs, skipped the creaky step, and pulled the key from its hiding place in the freezer. I could've just picked the lock, but I didn't want to take the time or risk waking my mom with the noise.

I grabbed a bottle of Goldschlager and downed the pills, taking care to leave just enough in the bottle to make it seem as though I hadn't touched it. I re-locked the cabinet, stashed the key, and went back up to my room, closing the door silently behind me. I then opened my sketchbook, flipping sullenly through the pages before finding the one I was looking for.

It was THE drawing, the one he didn't know about, the one I did the first night that I'd seen him. He was sleeping innocently; his mouth was turned up in a slight smile. My anger flooded away, leaving only sadness behind. I reached up to tear the picture, intent on destroying it, but stopped. I would keep it, as punishment for allowing myself to be so blind, and as a memory of the first person I ever truly loved.

The alcohol and pills began to catch up with me, and I started to sing groggily.

"Oh motherfucker, if life ain't just a joke then why are we laughing? And why am I dead?"

With that, I fell into a drug induced stupor.

* * *

><p>Mikey's POV-<br>I slammed the snooze button on my alarm clock and rolled over- right on top of Frank.

"Omigosh I'm so sorry!" I gasped, jumping up. He grinned at my embarrassed look and took a good look at me.

"Are you checking me out?" I asked as his eyes raked over my nearly naked body.

"Yup. And you look VERY good. I advise you put some clothes on before I tackle you. I only have so much self-control, you know."

I smiled deviously, striking a pose while standing on the bed. "Take one long look at all this sexiness before I go cover it with black clothing!" I exclaimed, making Frank break down into hysterics. I went to hop down from the bed when he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back to the bed.

"What, so now I'm not ALLOWED to go put clothes on?" I asked, still laughing, as Frank straddled my chest.

"Nope," he replied, a huge grin breaking across his face. "I told you I only had so much control. Prepare to be eaten!" He started growling hungrily, leaning closer to me. I began to giggle nervously. I liked Frankie and all, but I REALLY didn't want to make out with him in my bed. Just as I was about to speak up, he closed the rest of the distance between us- and licked all the way up the side of my face.

"Gross!" I cried, wiping away Frank's saliva as he cracked up again and rolled off of me onto the floor. I laughed again, too, as I watched Frankie rolling on the floor, clutching his sides. "I really thought you were going to... you know..." I told him as he finally caught his breath and sat up, grinning from ear to ear.

"We better go downstairs so we can eat," I suggested. "I'll make some toast or something."

"You," Frank reprimanded, "are not allowed to touch the toaster. _I_will make toast. And what about catching the bus? It leaves in five minutes."

"We'll go to school Monday. It's already halfway through the week, and I'm not looking forward to facing the student body at this point. I'm sure the principal will understand. We're still recovering from our 'mishap.'" He smiled again and tossed me a T-shirt.

Frankie and I chatted and sipped coffee as we chowed down on eggs and toast. Gerard came down the stairs as we were cleaning up, and the smile dropped from Frank's face. Gerard was red-eyed and had the obvious signs of a hangover.

"Have you been _drinking?_" I asked incredulously as he dropped down into a seat at the table.

"Whatsitoya?" He slurred, grabbing a piece of cold toast. "I need coffee." He started towards the pot, but I barred his way, my arms folded over my chest. He sighed.

"Move, Michael."

"One, my name is Mikey. Two, I will move when you tell me what the hell you're thinking!" I said defiantly, standing my ground.

"Why don't you ask our dearest Frankie over there?" he muttered, shoving me. I stumbled, Gerard was much stronger than me, and let him pass. I glanced at Frank, who was staring at Gerard with a mixture of openmouthed shock and- guilt? I couldn't tell. And as soon as Gee turned around, Frank walled up his face, hiding the emotion.

"I will be at the comic store. So if you'll excuse me, I'll get out of your hair, since I am obviously unwanted. Goodbye Frank, Michael," Gerard said, his voice cool and collected despite the awkward circumstances. He quickly glided out the door.

"WHAT is going on?" I demanded.


	8. Chapter 8

**Things continue to get worse for Gee... And they still will. Sorry. :/**

**Reviews are love!**

**~FallenAvengingAngel**

Frank's POV  
>Mikey studied me with a disapproving look as I recounted the events of the previous afternoon, leaving out the fact that what I'd told Gee was a lie. When I was finished I looked up at him, my heart aching from all that wounds I had ripped back open.<p>

"Well," Mikey said, uncrossing his arms and clearing his throat, "I disapprove of you using my brother, but it's none of my business. However, it IS my business if he starts drinking again. The last time, he tore Mom apart. He finally sobered up a few months before we moved here and he met you. And at least before, we could get him to talk. Now he's so shattered inside that I don't think anyone can help him by you. Once again, not my business. But I would try to talk to him if I were you."

I swallowed, tears clogging my throat. "Mikey, do you hate me?" I asked, a bit scared of the answer.

Mikey sighed and slowly shook his head. "No, Frank, I don't hate you."

I threw my arms around his neck, the scalding tears pouring down my cheeks and soaking his shirt. "I never wanted this to happen!" I cried as he held me. "I didn't want things to go this far!"

Mikey sat patiently, murmuring condolences and stroking my hair as I cried and clutched him. Slowly my sobs subsided, and I released him. He looked at me with wise eyes.

* * *

><p>Mikey's POV-<br>Frank's eyes were wet and bloodshot from all the tears, and he looked somber as he gazed at me. The look in his eyes wasn't only guilt, it was pain and love.

I heard the front door slam, and Frank spun expectantly in his chair, his eyes full of hope. But Gee did not come into the kitchen, instead heading up the stairs to his bedroom if his footsteps were anything to go by. When Frank turned back to me, he seemed forlorn. Then it hit me.

"Frank, you weren't just using Gerard. You still love him, don't you?"

Frankie flinched and reluctantly nodded.

"Then why did you break up with him? Why did you lie to him?" I asked quietly, making sure that Gerard wasn't listening. Frank swallowed, his eyes once again brimming with tears.

"Every time I fall in love, someone ends up hurt. I got Gee put in jail. He could've DIED because of me. So I decided to separate myself from him, to keep him from getting hurt. He'll find someone else soon, and the he'll be safe. And then I'll be alone, unable to hurt anyone ever again."

I was taken aback by his words. He broke up with Gee to PROTECT him? If so, his plan had backfired. Gee was more hurt now than he'd ever been.

"Frankie, you couldn't have hurt Gee by staying with him. Making him think you never cared, that's what hurt him. I can't make decisions for you, but I'd tell him the truth."

Frank sighed, tears escaping down his cheeks despite his attempts at keeping them in.

"He deserves better than me," he whispered.

TIME LAPSE

* * *

><p>Gerard's POV-<br>I walked far behind Mikey and Frank on the way to school, reluctant to be near the person who had cut me so badly. The two were deep in conversation, and I thought I could make out my name. Sure enough, Mikey turned and glanced at me quickly as we stepped onto the school grounds. I sped up slightly and fell into step behind the two, who instantly fell silent.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about me," I stated as we mounted the steps, then pushed past them and breezed through the doors.

In History, my third class of the day, I ignored my usual seat near Frank and sat in the front row, bringing murmurs and stares from most of the class. In Chemistry, Autumn plopped down next to Frank. I gladly sat behind them, resigned to take in the view of Frank's back and butt. However, my seat made it fairly easy to overhear a conversation that made me die even more inside.

"Autumn, would you go out with me?"

I clutched my pen tightly.

"Of course, Frankie! But I thought you and Gee were..."

"Not anymore," he cut her off. "I know I've told you I don't like girls, but I like YOU, Autumn. You're special to me, and I want you to be my first girlfriend."

I felt something wet on my arm and realized I was crying. In the middle of Chemistry. Over Frankie. Who had moved on. And didn't love me.

I stood up abruptly, asked Mr. Unger for a hall pass, and made my way down the hall to the bathroom. I closed the door to the stall, and immediately threw up.


	9. Chapter 9

**Things will get a LITTLE worse, but better is coming (as well as the end of the story).**

**-_\\ Emo Smiley!**

**Reviews are love!**

**~FallenAvengingAngel**

Gerard's POV-

I looked with strange satisfaction down at the bleeding wounds that now resided on my forearm. Along with multiple deep slashes, the word _Frank_was carved delicately across my pale skin.

_Frankie has his scars_, I thought. _Now I have my own._

Two weeks had passed since Frank and Autumn had become a couple. I had stuck with Bob, and found out he had his uses. A fake ID and twenty different bottles of heaven were now stashed under the bed, thanks to him.

I grabbed a wad of tissues from the nearly empty box on my bed and pressed them to the gashes on my arm, reveling in the burn that came from the thin paper adhering itself to my bloody flesh. I took a hearty swig from the bottle of vodka on my dresser to help kill the pain, and tore the tissues out of my arm.

The instant scabs that the paper had formed came away with a sharp pain, and the blood that had been stinted by the flimsy barrier began to flow once again. I swung my arm away from my bedsheets and let the blood drip onto the black carpet. I watched, fascinated, as the lush fabric absorbed the crimson liquid, leaving no trace but a slight damp spot on the rug. My vision began to cloud over, whether from loss of blood or from the alcohol, I wasn't sure. I halfheartedly knotted a t-shirt around my oozing arm and, for the second time that week, passed out.

TWO WEEK TIME LAPSE

Frank's POV-  
>I greeted Autumn with a hug and a sweet kiss as I rushed into Chemistry. My heart gave a leap when I saw Gerard seated behind Autumn. It had been a month now since our breakup, and Gee was looking worse every day. He was hungover all the time, and had taken to wearing hoodies and long sleeves all the time to hide his wasting body.<p>

I took my place beside Autumn with a stab of guilt. I was guilty for hurting Gerard; I was guilty for lying to Autumn. I DID care about her, but I didn't love her like I did Gee. I was the guilty one, and it cut me every day.

I barely participated throughout the class, which was not unusual, but Autumn obviously realized something was up. As soon as the bell rang, she seized me by the arm and yanked me out the door and towards the front entrance of the school.

"Where are we going?" I inquired as she led me down the stairs to her car.

"Away from here," she answered, throwing open the passenger door. I climbed in, and we sped off.


	10. Chapter 10

**Well, here it is, my dear readers. The final chapter of The Only Hope For Me Is... I hope you enjoyed my story. **

**I am in the process of writing a sequel, called Early Sunsets Over Belleville, New Jersey. I will have the first chapter up soon, and if I get a review, I'll try to finish the story. :) I hope you like it.**

**I have to say, in conclusion of my story, remember this- "Be yourself, never take anyone's $*, and never let them take you alive."**

**~Fallen Avenging Angel**

Gerard's POV-

My heart sank when Frank and Autumn left. I was still hung-over from downing the last of my liquor the night before, and imagining what those two must be going to do made me feel even sicker and put a dull ache in my chest. I left the classroom, but instead of heading to my next class, I found myself walking to the nurse's office.

"Why, hello Gerard," the nurse greeted me. "What seems to be the problem?"

"I feel really sick. Like I'm going to throw up." I looked up at her and put on my most pitiful, ill expression, which wasn't hard considering how sick I already looked.

The nurse looked at me sympathetically. She knew I had been sick at school a lot recently, and was definitely cutting me quite a lot of slack when she asked me, "Do you need to go home?"

I was shocked. She was going to let me leave just like that?

"Y-yes please," I stuttered, surprised at her blatant disregard for school rules. Only a fever or a doctor's note could excuse a student.

"Okay, here's a pass. Go to your locker, get your things, and give this to the front office. We'll send your work with Mikey this afternoon, okay?" I nodded, accepting the paper freedom. I started for the door, but froze when I heard my name.

"Gerard?" I turned to face the nurse again.

"Things'll get better. Heartbreak is hard on everyone." She smiled and winked at me, and for the first time, I noticed the scars that littered her wrists. She pulled her sweater sleeves back over them, and went back to her work. I numbly stepped out the door and got ready to go home.

* * *

><p>Autumn's POV-<p>

Frank was distracted as I drove. He was staring out the window with a distant look on his face, and his hand was clutching the armrest so tightly that it was squeaking in protest. I rested one hand on his, and he snapped back to reality, releasing his death-hold on the armrest and giving me an apologetic smile.

"So," he asked, "where are you taking us?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Why don't we go back to my place? It's quiet there. No one's home. You can explain why you're so… not here."

Frank nodded, and we rode on in silence, with his hand clutching mine.

TIME LAPSE

"So. Whatdya wanna do?"

Frank and I were sitting cross-legged in my bedroom. I leaned my head back and rested it on his shoulder before I snaked my arm around his waist and planted a sweet kiss on his cheek.

"I know what _I_ want to do," I whispered, "but that depends. What do _you_want to do?"

Frank smiled broadly, the distracted look gone from his eyes.

"It seems like we have the same idea," he whispered, returning the kiss. He then kissed me again, on the lips this time, and pushed me lightly. I landed on my back on the bed, and he lay on top of me, leaving a line of kisses along my jaw. I giggled, and flipped him over on his back. He gasped in surprise as I straddled his chest.

"Frankie-bear has been a naughty boy, hasn't he? Taking advantage of young ladies like this." I tsk-tsked and ran my hand down his chest, stopping right above the waistband of his jeans. I looked in his eyes and leaned down to kiss him again.

I smiled when his tongue slid into my mouth. As we kissed, I toyed with his lip-ring with my tongue before giving in and unbuttoning his shirt. Frank sighed blissfully as I took in his beautiful body; his eyes shut tight as I devoured him with my eyes.

"Frankie," I whispered, fingering his tattoos.

His eyes flew open, and he looked surprised and almost guilty to find me sitting on him. He swallowed hard and spoke.

"Autumn, I can't do this."

I smiled sadly. "I know."

"Wait, what?"

"You still love him. It's been obvious since the start." I swallowed back a sob; though I'd known this all along, it still hurt a little to say. "You love me too, but as a friend and a sister. Thanks for giving me a shot, though. Now go to him. Tell him the truth. You need him as much as he needs you."

Frank looked guilty still as he looked up at me.

"I'm sorry for using you, Autumn. I never should have lied to you. Or Gee. I'm sorry."

I swallowed again, wiping back a tear.

"Using me? I enjoyed every minute. I forgive you. Now go!" I started to get up, but Frank stopped me by grabbing me by the arms and kissing me passionately. Though I knew the kiss was for my benefit only, I cherished every moment of the too-short embrace.

Frank broke away, gave me a hug that sent my heart a-flutter, and before I knew it, he was gone.

I flopped back onto the bed and buried my face in the pillow. The tears that I had been holding back began to fall, and I fell asleep to the scent of Frank Iero.

* * *

><p>Gerard's POV-<p>

I sat on the swing at the park outside my house, staring at the house that had once been Frank's. I had come home and immediately taken the last of my Xanax. I was now sitting and thinking…

_Christmas, two years ago. Mikey sat by the window, holding a gift from my father, who was never around. My mother was holding a video camera, taping our exclamations of surprise and joy as we tore open our gifts. A cell phone for Mikey, new pencils and a sketchbook for me. Comics for us to share._

_My father burst into the room, rendering Mikey to tears. He had not believed that our father would actually arrive, and it was too much for him.__  
><em>_"Why are you only around on Christmas? The gifts don't mean anything!" I snapped, rocking my baby brother. "You try to buy our love, but it doesn't work! It doesn't make you our father! You've never been there for us. Why should a couple of gifts make any difference? I want you to stay away from Mikey, you hear? Look what you've done!"_

I sighed, tears streaming down. Yet another thing I'd ruined. That Christmas was the day I'd started drinking. I hurt my mom so badly. That's all I ever did. Hurt people.  
>I stood up from the swing, tears pouring down my face. I knew what I was going to do.<br>I started towards the lake in the center of the deserted park, unzipping my hoodie and leaving it lying on the cold ground. It was cold out, and a thin layer of ice lay one the large lake. I also stripped off my shirt as I walked, exposing my scars. Before long, I was standing in the snow on the shore of the lake in my jeans, shivering, clutching myself, and staring at the word Frank, which was still visible on my arm.

My mind foggy with cold and drugs, I said goodbye silently to Mikey, Ray, Bob, Autumn, and mostly Frankie, and jumped. As my feet broke the surface, I was almost positive I heard an angel calling my name.

* * *

><p>Frank's POV-<p>

I screamed Gerard's name when I saw him leap into the water. I had been walking to school to find him when I'd spotted him standing in just his jeans in the snow. I knew something was wrong ever before he jumped, but now I was terrified, in a word.

I raced to the bank and tore my hoodie and shirt off, and did the most reasonable thing- I dove in after him.

The first thing that hit me when I hit the water was how frigid the icy lake was. I felt my muscles contract and lock from the cold and I began to sink, my air supply dwindling fast. I had never been a strong swimmer, and panic was already setting in. Somehow, I managed to reach the surface. I took a huge lungful of air and re-submerged.

Now the real problem was finding Gee. He was somewhere on the lake bottom, but I couldn't see him anywhere. Just as I was about to have to go up for air, I spotted him below me, floating along unconscious. Did I go down to get him and risk running out of air and drowning, or go to the surface and risk not being able to find him again? The answer was clear. His life before mine.

I propelled myself to the bottom of the lake and grabbed Gerard around the waist. Though he was very light, the extra weight slowed me down. My lungs were burning as I raced the clock, trying to reach the surface before I was forced to inhale the freezing water.

Time slowed. I felt my lungs aching; my muscles were cramping from cold; Gerard's limp form in my arms. I realized how easy it would be to let go. It would be so simple to just sink back down, to pass on and be with him forever in a place with no bullies, or sneers, or people screaming "EMO FAGS" in our direction. We could leave that behind and be with each other.

A movement from Gerard's limp body quieted that thought. Not a twitch or a movement from his eyes or his limbs, but something more subtle. A heartbeat. Though his pulse was faint, it was there. And that was what mattered. He was alive.

I kicked hard, thrashing towards the surface in a desperate attempt to save him. My lungs expanded against my will, welcoming an unwanted lungful of icy lake water-

just as I broke the surface. I coughed the water out of my lungs as I dragged Gee's dying body ashore. I immediately began CPR, my body moving in autopilot while my mind played its repeating mantra- _He's not dead yet._

I forced air into his water-clogged lungs, and suddenly he began to cough. Water poured from his mouth and he curled into a ball, shivering violently, as was I. I grabbed his shirt and hoodie, as well as my own, ignoring my soaked skinnies and wrapping him in the dry cloth. This left me bare-chested, which was the least of my worries. Though Gee was much too large for me to carry easily, I knew he would likely die if I didn't get him warm. So, I scooped him up into my arms and hurried as quickly as I could go to the house.

I slid Gerard into the hot water and he gasped. The water probably felt even hotter to his skin than it did mine. Slowly his tremors subsided, and he was able to support himself. He sighed shakily and leaned back in the water, sinking down under the steaming relief. I sat on the toilet, reveling in the irony of the situation- not so long ago it had been me in the tub, Gee watching worriedly.

I snapped out of my reverie when Gee spoke, his voice soft and cautious.

"Why did you save me?"

I blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Why did you save me? You said that you didn't care. You don't love me. You didn't have to feel guilty. It was my choice. You didn't-"

"Gee," I cut him off. "I didn't save you because of guilt. I saved you because I love you."

Gerard froze, his gaze wary, his half-clothed body almost fully submerged. "But you said- I thought-"

"I lied. I didn't want you hurt. You got put into jail because of me. I didn't want you to end up like Nathan. I always screw things up. If I'd realized just how much it would hurt you, I never would have dreamed of it. I know that with everything I did, you have no reason to take me back, but I would really appreciate it if you would give me another chance. I love you, Gee. I don't ever want to be apart again."

Gerard's eyes filled with tears of love, relief, and longing. He reached out for me, and I knelt beside the tub, his hand in mine. I was cold, but his touch filled me with an unexpected warmth.

"Frankie, can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me."

I swallowed, and said the words that had been waiting on my tongue for weeks.

"Gerard. You ARE the only hope for me. You have been since that first day, when you saved me. I'm tired of hiding it. I love you, Gerard Way, and I want the whole world to know."

"But what about the bullies and jocks? What about the people who beat you and call us names? It'll only get worse." Gee looked into my eyes, his hand clutching mine.

"You know what? Let them come. We'll give 'em hell."

With that, I leaned forward, pressing my lips to Gerard's. We finally broke away, gazing at each other, all secrets out.

"I love you Frankie," Gee whispered.

"Gee? I love you too."

**And there you have it- The Only Hope For Me Is...**

**Hope you liked it!**

**Reviews are Love!**


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